Strength...

It's funny how God has many of your friends deal with the same issues you deal with, simultaneously.

A friend of mine wrote this and I think it says a lot. Check it out...

"Strength is perfection in weakness.
Strength is not resistance to change.
Strength is not durability, nor is it longevity.
Strength is perfection in weakness.
Strength is wrought with inability.
It is infused with shortcomings and limitations.
Strength is perfection in weakness.
Strength is not something you strive for, it is something that is bestowed.
Strength cannot be seized, because you have no access to it naturally.
Strength has nothing to do with being strong; it has everything to do with being weak.
Strength cannot come in a day, it may not even come in a year, strength may not even surface in a decade.
Strength is perfection in weakness.
Strength has nothing to do with you.
Strength has everything to do with Him.
Strength is the end of your road, and the beginning of His.
Strength will fail you inevitably, weakness will persist indefinitely.
But that’s when it all happens.
That’s when you give up.
That’s when you surrender.
That’s when HIS strength is made perfect in YOUR weakness.
Strength has nothing to do with being strong; it has everything to do with weakness.
Strength is perfection in weakness."

So if you ever see someone that is strong or seems to posses a lot of strength, if it is indeed TRUE strength, then you are looking at a very weak person.
Strength is a measure of your weakness. Be vulnerable. Be weak.

Going off of that... man, you ever feel like nothing is going right? You have your head above water, but just barely. You are constantly asking God to put you where He wants you and you see no change. You have asked God to search your heart and bring any hidden sin to light so that it can be taken care of... but yet again, you are dealing with all of your issues, but seeing no results. This is when God is screaming at us, "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!"

God reminded me of this recently. He said something like, "When are you going to stop asking me to take action, and start asking me if you can be a part of MY action?"

Whoa nelly... talkin' about a reality check. I had to stand back and think for a moment. All the things I'm asking God to do or let me be apart of, did I ever really ask Him for His advice? Did I ever consult Him on His desires? Were they based out of selfish motives or were they truly for the kingdom?

Fact is... we have to daily surrender to His plans, His will, and His ways. I know for me, my flesh is weak. My heart is fragile. If I'm not careful, I begin thinking that God is a God of contingency, but He's not. It's not a work based faith. He must know our hearts are pure.... He knows our motives. I've been comforted that if things aren't going exactly how you had planned, praise God. He sees the whole picture. He sees how we must be in order to truly fulfill our destiny in the kingdom. It's all about Him and His kingdom... bottom line. When we forget that, sure... things don't go right. We get frustrated. We get angry and hurt. It's ok... He holds your heart more closely than even you in your own chest. Be relieved He has your best interest in mind. He wouldn't withhold from you the treasures He's prepared for you. It's about timing and readiness? Are you ready?

Be Blessed, til later....

Sovereignty.

Well, it's been a while. I have been incredibly busy and alot has changed in my life over the past month or so.

Again, I am blown away by God's sovereignty, period. He's got everything under control. Sometimes God likes to remind us of that. It's almost as if he says, "Hey, you. Calm down. I got it. Let me move." I love Jesus. Yay God.

I've been learning alot about the perfect will of God and the unity in the body recently. Have you ever been in such a close nit group that when one is hurting, the other knows and helps, without fail? When someone is happy, the other knows it just by default? It's awesome to see God's supernatural power in these things. He wants to get involved in our every day life, but we have to welcome Him. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman and will not go where He's not wanted... keep that in mind. If we want God to do big things, we have to usher those big things in. Half the battle is knowing that God can do more than we can imagine, but He can. Scripture tells us just how much can do and more.

You know... it's so easy to get frustrated with people. They will let you down and disappoint you and you them. It's natural. We have the ability to be slaves to righteousness once saved, but it's so hard to walk the straight and narrow. The past 2 days.... wow. I have a hard time dealing with stupid people, but God says love them anyway. Praise Jesus, it is He who lives within me.

I must die to myself daily in order to live as Christ lives. I'm just a conduit who's available.

Love and be love.

Life... is good.

I love the fact that life is good, no matter what the circumstances. It's amazing how our perspective of good and bad change as our hearts change and mature. We realize that people everywhere are suffering... some for the sake of Christ, others because they constantly put themselves in situations of sheer torture and pain. I truly just want people to walk in the fullness of the Lord, by whatever means necessary. I want people to experience the supernatural powers of our Savior. Need healing? He's our medical insurance. Need financial help? He's our money tree. Need friends? He's our comforter. Need life? He's our salvation.

It's so beautiful. God is on our side. Believe it. Live it.

Funny story....

So God is incredibly providential but loves to get a laugh in every once in a while. I go home the other day, go in my house, and for some reason leave my windows down in my car. I never do this... but God knew what was goin' down...lol.

I change clothes, get my cell, lock the door, and walk right back out... without my keys, car and house.

Well, I never grab only my cell either, but so I did this time. Praise Jesus, because I don't have a spare key hidden anywhere around. So, I immediately start praying and God places someone on my heart to call.

Long story short, this person helped me break into my own house over the phone (that I never have without my keys), using a credit card (that came out of my car with the windows down...lol).

Needless to say, I was relieved to get in my house, but I then realized that I need new locks. :o)

I think as we grow in our walk, it's not that God blesses us more, it's that we see how much God does bless us. God is in the little, big, and between. May we be more sensitive to His spirit and know He is God. Amen.

Prayer & Responsibility

God's really been teaching me a lot about prayer and intercession lately and it's so interesting that I have got to share. Feel free to talk to me about any of this... I'd love to dive deeper.

I know you've heard people say God doesn't need us, He'll do it with us or without us. This is very true, but the fact is, He wants to accomplish all things through us... big difference. Let me explain this as best I can.

Fact: God can, but will not disobey His own rules. Example: God is loving and kind, merciful and gracious, but must be just and show wrath at other times. When He says the wrong shall be punished, He has to finish what He starts. The important thing is God is so loving and kind He never wants to hurt us, kill us, only discipline us... in order for us to grow. It's just that sometimes it's necessary to do the hard and what we deem as "unfair" stuff to the body because He can NOT contradict himself.

This brings me to the next revelation. God is sovereign, but what does that really mean right? His whole purpose in creation was to glorify Himself. Sounds selfish, but... He did this so that we in turn can have eternal life and be blessed throughout our life here on earth. It was and is the best for us.

He calls us to do certain things. People say you're supposed to pray just because God says to, but then people say, why should I pray if God is going to do what he wants to regardless? Here is where we miss the boat. God, in His awesomeness... first made the choice to work through us, thus He must finish the work in which He starts in us. If God did everything for us and we just lived in a great world with no sin, where there was no evil, how would be know just how truly blessed we are? We wouldn't because we'd have no comparison, so that in turn would not be the most glorifying thing for Himself and definitely would not bless us or be most beneficial for us. Follow me?

Ok... bare with me for just a few more minutes. Back to prayer... God calls us to pray. Yes, He could do what he wanted without us praying, but here's the thing. Our prayers do work. Our prayers do make a difference because it's the purest way God uses us to "intercede" for others and sometimes even ourselves. We admit our shortcomings and say God I need your help. We pleed for mercy and He gives because He is gracious. See, His desire is to love... more than anything. He says "Ask and it shall be given... Seek, knock..." This must be taken in context, but here's the point of this. God's rule was to work through us, therefore needing us to plea for others and pray in thankfulness. We intercede (Note: Misconception is that people think this means prayer itself, it doesn't... it is defined as a "meeting; go between") for what God places on our heart.

For instance, you know when someone just comes to mind. You don't know why but let's say you call them. Sometimes God places those people on our hearts for more than us just calling. He may want you and me to pray for them. They may be in danger, having a rough day, or even worse. God uses us to help others. We're responsible for this as well. Ignoring the call, or heart, is ignoring God and what you could and may prevent or aid in preventing by "pleading" the case for someone else.

Now let's take this a step further. This truly explains why catastrophic events ever happen. It really does. Keep in mind, it's all a part of the plan and God knows what is to come, but He ordains us to be a part of that.

Let's take that huge tsunami that hit Thailand a few years back. Who's to say God didn't place that nation on a group of believers' hearts to pray for them as a whole and stop that wave. Can you imagine a band of angels being commanded out of heaven to stand before that city at the edge of the sea and hold back the water. What a sight?! A true miracle of God. Who's to say He didn't place on the heart of His people somewhere, but they ignored the call. They ignored the calling to intercede on that nation's behalf. Now grant it, sometimes God just does things, but think about it... We're all wicked if we go back to the basics of the fall. Our nature is sinful. You don't have to teach a child to lie. You have to teach them not to. Therefore, ultimately we all deserve eternal damnation. So when we look at the tragedies like this... we can then "understand" why those things happen. God wants to do good through us by therefore using us to get His work done. This goes back to the whole principle that God won't break His own rules. He wants us to intercede for others because He wants everyone to have a chance. He doesn't want the "innocent" to die but sometimes it's necessary to live out His own provisions.

This puts so much more emphasis and importance on prayer. We have a responsibility to pray for those whom God places on our heart. It's a duty and privelege to know we're helping in a much bigger plan. We really do make a difference. This whole concept also makes the phrase "their blood will be on your hands" so much more real. It's literal to a degree. If God calls us to intercede and we don't, and He has to follow His rules and wipe whomever out.... blood on our hands. Judgment by God will fall on us as individuals, if He had placed it on our hearts to help in intervening.

Now, this doesn't mean we need to be scared that we're killing people if we don't pray. It just means we need to be sensitive to the spirit. We need to be walking and talking with Jesus daily so that when He speaks it's not so distant that we can't hear or understand Him. He must be our first priority. We can be better used when He is ALL we desire. Our desires then are transformed into His desires. We need to live like a Christian and not just "be" one. You never know when the person you may be interceding for is one of your own.

All this fits so perfectly together. It's amazing just how sovereign and intricate our God really is.

Until later... Love and be love.

Love = God

God is good. I am home from a week vacation from the bean. It's been awesome. We were on Lookout Mountain in GA and TN. It was beautiful and completely reminded me how big God is and how small we are.

I've seen a lot of things happen over the past week or so. God has revealed much to me about sacrificial love. He is never ending and has a plan and purpose for all things. I have been dumbfounded in the past 72 hours about what God has said to me about our callings and specifically what he has for each of us. It's so funny to think back to our childhood when we experienced things...

We think what we experience is normal and everyone has the same experiences. We grow up not knowing how we are different because we don't know the inner parts of other people. Fact is... we're so different, but more than that... we're unique. We're uniquely made and put together so intricately by a God who is more personal than we will ever fathom. A God who created a personal plan for each of us in a personal timing.

Think about how in this ginormous universe, God intimately knows each of us and is concerned for our well being. We say so quickly... God loves you, but that's not it. He does, but it's more than that... God is love. Love is God. When we truly understand what love is... we'll get a more accurate depiction of our God who died for his love. The only way we'll continue to grow in knowing more about this love and how to apply it is to read His plan... His word... His heart. We can't just sit here and expect God to download into us. We have to passionately pursue Him as He does us. Praise God His pursuit is not reliant on ours. When His word says "Wait...," it's not saying "don't do anything, let me do it for you," it's sayin' wait as in what a waiter does. "Aggressively serving" God wants us to aggressively serve until He otherwise commands. Now what that looks like for you individually depends on how close you are in fellowship with Him. I encourage and challenge you to thirst... so much your life depends on it.

God is planting within me a passion to help people understand this love. Now practically, I have no idea what this means or looks like... whether it means that I give up everything I have here and go elsewhere, or focus my attention on things other than my job, or move somewhere else, or just stay and do exactly what I've been doing. God only knows and because of that... I will ask what He wants of me today and today alone. Tomorrow, I'll ask about tomorrow. Each day is for itself. God's timing is immaculate and my worry for the future proves my lack of trust. My will is in His hands and by golly, that is all I need to know. I shall rest in His promises as I challenge you to do as well. Take all that you do to heart and do all with your heart. Love genuinely, but more importantly.... love freely.

Until later...

So Blessed

I have had some amazing things happen to me in the past 2 days. I won a 3 day, 2 night paid vacation at a 5 star hotel and resort in Orlando, FL. I had a massage and a facial. I have been given more freedom in my job and told how smoothly things are running. I am going on vacation beginning this Friday... meaning I will be a camp counselor for a week. I am so pumped and excited to get away.

I feel like this is going to be so refreshing. I am excited to meet new people, praise God, worship and learn more. I'm excited about the people I'm going to be hanging out and growing with over the week. Thanks goes out to the person who told me about this. Thank you and I look forward to hangin' out with you too.

Life is good. Tis all there is to it. It's stressful sometimes, but overall... pretty nice. *sigh*

Time

Apparently, we grow up. This is something we all know, however... it hits you like a ton of bricks time and time again. It's so odd when you realize everyone you graduated with in highschool is either married, engaged, pregnant, or already has a family. I think this is a stage every guy and/or girl goes through at some point in their twenties, unless they are in one of the above stated categories.

I did have more to say... however... not coming back to me at the moment.

Forgiveness

I'm learning about this everyday. I realized yesterday after spending some time with a really good friend, that I must learn to forgive. You must forgive yourself before you are able to forgive anyone else. It's tough sometimes, but once you do it, you realize more about where you are in life. It takes being down in the dumps to realize that other people need you too. It's not all about us, never is, never has been. Think of someone else... Yeah, it's nice for someone to care about you, but keep in mind, someone has to care about them. It's not a one way street. Even when you feel like you're pouring and pouring out of yourself, and that there's nothing left to give, there's always more when God is the one filling you up. You must go to the well that never ends to be replenished, not your friends because some of them... if not all, need filling too. We all need help, but you must first help yourself.

Enslaved by Flesh

I'm such an awful person. I realized yet again yesterday how truly bad I am, without Christ. I must die daily to self, surrendering each problem, each frustration, each need. It is only He who lives within me that does any good. It's so humbling. If I were not saved by grace, I would not be where I am nor do what I do. God knows my strengths and weaknesses inside and out. Life is all about me figuring out what those things are and how I handle each one.

At the same time, it's amazing to be able to thank God for each moment that I'm here, daily a lil' blessing in this grand scheme. I learn something new everyday. I love listening to my friends, hearing about their lives and what they deal with. We're here to help each other, through the good and the bad. Keep that in mind when someone needs you. Sometimes all a person needs is an ear, not your advice. They need to know someone cares, not necessarily hear your answer to their problem.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."
- 2nd Corinthians 12:9

So here me now, I will gladly boast that I struggle. I will gladly boast that it is God who makes me who I am. It's all because of God that I don't daily go off on customers or family members. When I do, it's a reminder that it is only because of He who lives within me that I am capable of any good. It also reminds me that I am probably not where I should be. When we are right where God wants us, it's much easier to treat someone as Christ would treat them. When we are off doing our own thing, not in His word, not talking to Him daily... typically, we will do our own thing in every circumstance, meaning we'll let our flesh get in the way of our ministry. When we admit our struggles, He is able to do so much with our willing vessels. Never limit what God can do in you and through you. Sometimes a smile is all it takes to make someone's day and sometimes a harsh word can do just the opposite.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
- Proverbs 15:1

Tis so true. If a bad word slips out, if I am rude to someone, if I just don't have a good attitude, it's not justifiable in any sense, but that's me. I'm a sinner saved by grace and any good that I do is merely because of my God.

I'm not perfect and praise Jesus for that. I'd hate to know I'm responsible for every soul in this universe. It's an awesome blessing to know God is in control and keeps me snuggled in His arms everyday. The beautiful thing is... you are too.

Moving On

It's really early in the am...
Today is Erskine's graduation. I've got a couple of really close friends whom I dare not go see walk that walk. It's amazing how fast time flies. I've been out of college for over a year and my life is nothing how I pictured it would be, but better than I ever imagined. It's definitely different, but in a good, sovereign way.

I'm beginning to realize that who I was and who I am are conflicting notions. Not necessarily my personality and how I interact with people, but my views on life and of circumstances. I've grown up a lot since having to be on my own in this world, living by myself, paying my bills, working full-time jobs, but it's been good. I'm not gonna lie, life after college is a beast, not because it's hard, but because it's different. It is worth every minute.

I often catch myself looking at my friends who are younger and getting so excited for them. The next 4 years of your lives, be it you are graduating from high school or from college, will be some of the most interesting, stressful, awesome, scary, and life-changing years you ever experience. Take it one day at a time, piece by piece, savoring each moment. Take some time out to breathe... it's required.

I guess this is an ode to the graduates, whatever stage you are at. I love each of you whom I know personally and wish you the best. Be encouraged that this is the beginning of a beautiful change in your life. Don't be afraid of the unknown but excited about the potential. Life is always full of surprises. When I look at where I am now, verses where I thought I'd be, there are no comparisons, but I wouldn't change a thing (minus all the sin it took to get me here...lol).

I know I have been stuck on this verse for a long time, but it's seriously one of the most encouraging verses to me, plus the fact that God is really stressing it to me this month. It's not overwhelming, but a reminder. A reminder of a God who has it all together. A God who knows what's best for you. But more than that... A God who loves you more than we can even fathom what love is.

Seek to understand...
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
~ Ephesians 3:20-21

God has no time restraints, nor limitations. He is not bound by what our feeble minds think our lives should end up like. As long as we're giving all the credit to where it is due, we'll never cease to be amazed at what God can do with a lil' bit of willingness. Praise God, we have something on a higher power than that of ourselves orchestrating this thing we call life.

I'm feeling some inspiration start up... gotta save it for another day though, after I do a lil' more research...lol.

Have a beautiful day and love on people. It's what we're called to do and you know that somewhere deep down inside your body, it'll give you the warm fuzzies. Love.

Yeah...

Sometimes when you think people respect you or really appreciate you, they don't. New revelation.

Respect

It's hard to be an adult. There are always things that get in the way of being a kid again. You have responsibilities, people who look up to you, duties, you name it. Praise Jesus there are moments when are souls can be refreshed. I look forward to moments with close friends, catching up on the issues in our lives. I look forward to coming home to my dog who loves me unconditionally. I look forward to the breeze blowing when I'm sitting in the grass. I look forward to some of the smallest of things and am so thankful that I can experience them. I just had the privilege to buy a lawnmower this past week. Now... you'd think... no one in their right mind would be excited about buying a lawn mower, but seriously, this was the highlight of my last 2 weeks. To know that I've worked hard for something, put it to use, and made something else more beautiful just gives me joy like nothing else recently. I have one of the sweetest neighbors ever and she said to me a little while ago how they may need to borrow it... needless to say, I got even more excited. It's as if I can think about what good this lil' lawn mower will do and I just sigh, in refreshment. Love is like that too. God's love... When I feel so sad and as if the whole world has forgotten about love, someone or something gives me hope yet again. Constant renewal. I have no idea what is to come. I can't even begin to imagine, but I look forward to the simplest of times. I look forward to tomorrow...

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
~ Ephesians 3:20-21

Blessings.

God is good. Period. A friend just called me and told me how she's graduating college debt free. Praise God. And... she got a car. And... she won a $500 gift certificate, all within a week. I'm blown away by grace. Grace is and always will be sufficient. When we think there's nothing left, there's a lil' more at the bottom of the barrel. Maybe we should all go climb trees.... in the sunshine.

Revelation

Thanks to a new friend, I thought about some things last night. The reason why I am here is not determined by my past, but by God. God directs my moves, be it big or small, in His complete sovereignty. I often find myself thinking that because of a circumstance or a person, that I am here. Tis not true. I am here not because of a mistake, not because of a relationship, not because of a rhyme or reason. I found myself giving props to a problem in my life for bringing me to this point, which is not reality. I gave someone or something more credit than was due. I am here because of God, nothing more, nothing less. My past does not dictate who I am or what my future will be. I am not defined by an event, but my identity. I must first let go of what I think of myself to face what I am. So simple, but so hard. Until another revelation...

Time to Decide

So, I've been thinking... When one has to make big decisions, how should it be handled? Well.. I've come to the conclusion that I am incapable of making good decisions so why try to do it on my own. I've learned that praying about every little things seems to work better than any reason or rhyme I try to make up. I hate how sometimes when you have tons of people around you, but you have no one at all. It's a wild state to be in. You know that it's alright, but yet you are constantly battling a force that you can't quite get your hands around. Staying busy is good, but then when the business still doesn't quiet the concern, where do you go then? It seems as though no one gets it these days. People are always self-consumed and times are changing. Trends are forever popular and everyone thinks that the whole world is out to get them. News flash... it's not about us. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is hurting. Believe it or not, no one has it together. If we can learn to be completely transparent and just love, I mean a sincere love... something big will happen. When we leave our selfish motives behind and realize there is a greater good at stake, maybe then we'll see the bigger picture. I don't know what tomorrow brings. I don't know what next week holds, but I do know that each moment has enough concern of its own. I could sit here all day and say philosophical stuff that is insightful and enlightening, but why? To impress someone, to make someone want to know more about me, to create conversation? Or is it that I just need a release? When the words don't seem to make it out and nothing makes sense on the inside, how do you help yourself? When you try to put into words what you really feel and all you can say is "I freaked out," what does that really mean? Hmm... so Courtney just showed me something super neat. This whole blogging thing is new to me. Apparently, I can save this for later. I must go cut some hair... so until later.

Well... refreshment. That's something to think about. When we change something about ourselves, it's refreshing. We feel like we have a new lease on a life that may be humdrum. I really feel like a jack of all trades, master of none... It's somewhat frustrating because I really don't know what I'm really good at. I don't know who I am... or what I truly enjoy. Seriously... who am I and what are my passions?

Losing It

So music... I miss music, alot. More than I thought. I have no idea how to get back involved with music though. I feel so distant from the melodies that once rang so clear and routine. It's like a part of me is missing in a world that I must exist in for now. It's so odd how an event can trigger one to create a blog, realize how much something means to them, and hurt all at the same time. Until later...